When is White, White Enough?

Modern, Anti-Aging, Big Smile Tips.....

Once, perhaps twice, I was reading a helpful article about things that make us look older.

Pretty much only older people read these articles, but it is a realistic ‘heads up” to our kids as to what is about to come their way. One of the drop-dead, deal breakers was having yellowed teeth.

Yellow teeth will out you as a grandma, faster than you can draw on some eyebrows.

Even with a strict brushing and flossing regime, most chompers do yellow with time. It is a harsh fact. People love their deep, dark coffee and black tea. It doesn’t matter whether it is Earl Grey, English Breakfast, or even good ole Lipton, the consequence to all this drinking, is that it dyes your enamel.

Definitely smoking cigarettes will layer on a corn kernel like patina. Not so sure about vaping but now that we know those vices may give you holes in your lungs or even cancer, it’s probably best to nix them on that premise alone. Even a steady diet of healthy things, like blueberries, blackberries and spinach (really!) can darken your pearly whites. My hygienist recently told me that even fluoride toothpaste has been shown to darken the enamel. Surprise to me. The cure for less cavities has a downside. Doesn’t that just figure.

So, let’s get into the "Why of White".

To do so, we must take a societal look at our important and influential role models who apparently now set our “wanna be” standards. Welcome to our overplayed TV favs: Kylie, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall, Kim, Kris and Caitlyn Jenner Kardashian. They have very big, very white ones.

OK. Ok. I know. They are all so last week. Pick any baller’s wife then, housewives of where ever or your favorite A or B list Hollywood actor. Not the “C” actors though, because most of them have not made enough money to pay for their whole makeover yet.

I bet you have noticed. We have become the land of high gloss, extra white, ceramic veneers, the kind that Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka in “Charlie and The Chocolate Factory” flashed us all. Frankly, he scared the heck out of me! In Hollywood, we have moved into SERIOUS WHITE. High gloss diamond infused nail gel white. New Range Rover white.

Most of us know that these celeb dental works of art, come with a fairly hefty price point.

Babe, would you like a new Tesla or some whitey whites for your birthday? That being said, what is the common person, who has not saved up $60,000 or more for their first round of veneers, to do?

No need to worry my besties. We have options. No need to stay yellow. No need to date yourself as an aged unemployable, during that irreversible 10 second first impression that takes place in your actual real person meeting, a pivotal moment in the third tier of your interview process.

Let’s take a look at our not as grandiose, but somewhat effective, choices.

✔️Whitening Toothpastes

✔️Hydrogen Peroxide and Baking Soda Mixtures

(make it yourself if you are able to mix two ingredients together, or purchase if lazy,

busy or have dependents)

✔️ OTC Bleaching Strips

✔️Bleaching Trays (best purchased from a trained specialist, not on HSN)

✔️Dental Cleaning with Pumice Polishing by your trusty Hygienist

✔️Laser Whitening

These are ALL OUR NEW FRIENDS!

I’m not saying it will be easy or fast, but you have to start somewhere. Oh, and you can’t stop either. Your newly refreshed teeth, that took 6 months to get, will go back to the yellow zone fast. Seriously, two cups of coffee, without the straw, you are starting over.

Finally, there is the whitening arcade in the middle of the mall. (Yes, there is!!)

This fast Zoom whitening type treatment is accessible to the fearless, for a fee of a few hundred dollars and a very extensive non-liability waiver. You get to sit in a dental chair in full public view and get an intensified whitening done, to start you off on your tooth fairy journey.

You can lighten your teeth a few shades quickly. You will look ridiculous! Not with your new shade of teeth but while it is being done. They put a stretching device on your mouth so your teeth are completely exposed and open, like one of the walking dead. Then they coat your teeth with a goopy, not so tasty gel and shine an intense blue light directly on your teeth for 20-30 minutes. You are lite up like an old black light poster.

NOTE: BTW, this would make a great passive aggressive, group gift for that co-worker that ran you over when leveling up.

So, it doesn’t matter whether we are talking about teeth that are slightly yellow, like the once white grout on your countertop or a more serious challenge, like kernels of cow corn. There are solutions on the pathway to whiteness and visual de-aging. If you have deep pockets, then the cost of celebrity veneers and their endless upkeep will make you giddy with that extra “top tier” whiteness. Everyone else, will just need to put in the time and some expense to brighten and subtly glow.

I also feel it is essential to add one final note.

Let us always remember, we may not be as white as others, because white varies, a lot.

I sometimes feel the pressure of it. Some of my girl pack just got a better white than me.

It’s easier for them. Genetics just gift some of us that way and I honestly wonder, if there is any level of white, that will be white enough, for some people. However, no matter what degree of white we are, all of us, every single one of us, should be proud of our tooth heritage and where we have come from.

So, GF, you be sure to own which level of white you are now. Have pride in yourself. You get to decide, no one else, which level of white you choose to be and which steps you want to take to get there. As for me, I’ve worked hard and I think I am now two whole shades lighter, maybe five years younger and............ I’m comfortable with that.