Rayon, Queen of the Bait & Switch

And her evil twin, Viscose

How many of you have found that one lovely dress or blouse, that fits you to perfection? You are your most perfect version of yourself in this garment. You run through a field of wildflowers and the wind blows your hair magically in the right direction with this dress. It is your most glorious shade of whatever pantone color that flatters you best. It drapes and falls elegantly and you know you are one step away from being Cinderella transformed. You close your eyes and you twirl. Life is good.

Mark the date!

No matter the size of this dress, you know you are no longer a “hot mess”. You are going to make it yours, no matter the cost or the limit on your credit card. You pause and feel the sensuous drape of the fabric. Then, you run your hands delicately and slowly, up and down the inside seams of the dress. When doing this, you are not seeking to determine the degree of craftsmanship. What you are looking for, is that carefully hidden “Fabric and Care Label” written in possibly 10 different languages with unrecognizable symbols.

It is the label that tells you everything you REALLY need to know, about your new love.

Holy…… “Mother” of the Woodlands". Say it isn’t so!

Content: 100% Rayon, Dry Clean Only.

First there a few things you need to know about our Queen Rayon and her evil twin.

Rayon is a fabric made from purified cellulose fibers, which are typically created from wood pulp. Though rayon is derived from natural materials, it requires certain chemicals, so it’s considered to be a semi-synthetic fabric.

Viscose is derived from “a viscous organic liquid used to make both rayon and cellophane"

The defining issue is that these fabrics SHRINK. I mean regularly, like with every washing, if washing is even allowed. Sometimes the label says: Cold wash, Gentle cycle, Hang Dry.

Don’t believe them. Well, believe that you can do what the instructions suggest, but you run the risk of your perfectly fitting fashion dream now fitting a 12 years old. Seriously, if you even walk by a mister or get hit with a stray yard sprinkler, you may find your item has dried on you like casing on a pork sausage.

Never fear though. Who says I can’t think outside the box? I’m a creative problem solver, a do- it-yourself lady. For those of you who know me, you know that I like to find ways to do a work around, so it will be of no surprise to you all to learn that I have tried more than once to outwit Queen Rayon and Viscose.

Since Rayon is going to shrink, I figured I would work with that as a stable datum. My idea was sound and science based. My theory was to buy the next size up and then down size it to perfection. Easy, Peasy. An off the rack size 6, would become my perfect size 4 Cinderella dress, via a full wash and dryer cycle. By my calculations, it should even shrink in length making it petite friendly too. Win. Win.

Good in theory. Right? (Nod in agreement here)

Yet, a big FAIL in execution.

My item did in fact comply and shrink to the expected size 4 and it was now completely washer/dryer compliant. However, it also distorted itself. It was shorter but also wider. More appropriate for a “Lord of the Rings” girl hobbit or a small Disney dwarf crossdresser to wear. The zipper (yes, it has one) got all warbled and curved like a baby snake. My once glorious Cinderella dress turned into a shrunken unwearable, just like midnight had struck.

The harsh reality is that Rayon and Viscose are real bitches. They lure you in and then betray your trust. Bait and Switch. They entice you with the pretty and then go all “Honey I Shrunk the Kids” on you. Sure, you can follow their most common written rules. DRY CLEAN ONLY. However, the drycleaners will even tell you, if they are honest about it, that getting Rayon near any heat may cause it to shrink. This means at the drycleaners, as well.

So, if you get taken in by the CBD vapors in the fabric, be sure to factor in that a small amount of shrinkage will happen just simply by leaving the store. Do yourself a favor. If you just can’t say no to the bidding of the Queen, then make sure you leave yourself a bit of breathing room in your new Rayon or Rayon Viscose blend Cinderella “walk in the wildflowers” dress. You will thank me later.

Also, don’t feel too bad if you get taken in and buy the princess dress. I’ve been fooled once, twice, definitely three, honestly more than four times, so far!