Merry Happy Hallow-Thanks-Xmas Day

It began this year, very early in August. First, I noticed it in Costco, of all places. Then it migrated over to the local Home Goods. It quickly spread multiple tendrils around in unexpected locations, like an uninvited flu virus.

I am talking about that holiday that we all dread, I mean love. OK, maybe dread a little.

It’s Merry Happy HalloweenThanksgivingMerryChristmas Day.

There are a few others names, not to be dismissed or ignored, but for the purposes of this catchy title, it would just be too long if I included them. Please excuse.

In my estimation, this very particular holiday begins preparations in August and aggressively continues until quite near the end of December. I know this because the signs are all around me, like an omen. The colors, fragrances and textures are quite specific.

It is true, I sense the signs. I know this because I am genetically gifted as an empath. I feel these kinds of things in special ways, like premonitions. I’m extra sensitive like that. However, I am certain, even without this special genetic blessing, that many of you have also begun to feel this presence. You know because you feel a slight pressure in your head like the onset of an ocular migraine or a mini panic attack.

To demonstrate my point, Costco currently has both human size flying witches and fifteen feet tall, made in China, evergreen trees for sale. Assembly required. Yes, they originally had their own locations, all blinged out, in separate aisles, but soon they merged into one big bunch of visual chaos. I saw colorful Autumn and red holly berry door wreaths mixed with faux pumpkins and gingerbread candles. I also took note that those special ‘for holiday only” gift boxes of Baileys Irish Cream with a logo embossed matching set of glasses, were now out for sale alongside the special-price tickets for the Scary Queen Mary Fright Night.

This was not however just in Costco. Home Goods had two entire rows of Halloween glass and resin pumpkins, witches, cats and light up scary things. They had fall home décor everywhere and a few silver reindeer running on the loose. Herds more to come. The candle section was very unorthodox. There was a hodgepodge display of apple-berry pumpkin, honey pumpkin, pumpkin bourbon, smoked pumpkin with hickory, pumpkin latte, rose petal and cranberry spice, with a side of woodland pine candles, all stacked and ready to go home with absolutely anyone. Frankly, I think the pumpkin was terribly confused by this.

There is additional evidence supporting my concerns as we have some chain crafts stores in SoCal. Perhaps you know some of them locally. We have Hobby Lobby, Jo Anne’s Fabrics and Michaels. They always market for each upcoming season early. Not unusual. However, this time they each have Halloween chachkies, next to fall leaves and deformed guords that are pretending to be trendy pumpkin options. These items are all sitting right next to December’s mini trees, green, red and blue ribbons, bows and wrapping paper ready for tying up with strings. Skulls, black candles, stuffed Santa’s, brown and orange maple leaves, bells and home sized hay bales are displayed all together, at the same time, in the same place.

One retailer even had all of pumpkin land set to go at 40-50% off the original price for the past three weeks. Maybe even before. I simply noticed because I was in there looking for a few sunflowers for the home, since it is still 102 degrees outside here.

Honestly, my senses were on overload. I did not know which way to go, what to think or

what to do. I needed an Aleve. This undeniable presence enveloped me, like a hot flash.

OMG. Was this the beginning???

If so, I am absolutely not emotionally or financially prepared. $$$$

The holiday fear overwhelmed me.

If I don’t get what I might need soon, would those nasty holiday goblins and pointy eared elves in orange take everything good? Yes, if you live in Santa Clarita, California.

Along with the immobilizing fear that this is the beginning of a very long holiday, I also note that this is the end of any and all disposable income I might have had stashed. Income that could have been responsibly targeted for retirement savings (or irresponsibly for some new Jimmy Choo’s). Apparently, according to new statistics, we are all going to need a lot more than originally planned.

Another irrefutable point. Every year I love to go fall candle hunting. It’s a ritual. I am obsessed. It starts for me when the hint of fall creeps in. I try to purchase my supplies for the long game early, if I want the warm sent of pumpkin pie and apple to waft through my house in November and cinnamon, eggnog, fireplace, and evergreen through December. I like to purchase at the discount places because well, they are discounted and therefore a lot less money which counts when you are getting your candle haul on.

What this means, is that the first time I see that pumpkin spice, fresh apple, or holiday green candle come into my local TJMAXX, I know it is time to purchase. There can be no hesitation. Seriously, it will be long gone next visit. The rule is that she or he who hesitates, might get stuck with that “fail” pumpkin rosemary candle or one from the land of candle misfits with a distorted wick and imbedded fingernail prints on the top. The rule is, when I see shelves overfilled with holiday scented, cotton wick, soy and coconut based wonders, I know that this holiday is fast upon us all.

Well, for the record, my first pumpkin candle siting was in early August and it scared the bloody heck out of me. I actually gasped. I took i-photos and sent them to people so they could share in my shock and awe.

All I could think was…It’s officially upon us.

The one holiday every year that never seems to end….

Merry, Happy, HallowThanksXmas Day

Special note to all parents inserted here: I suggest that as parents and Santa step-ins, that you consider getting your kids holiday wish list now. Then you can pick those things up along with your required for school Halloween, gender and race neutral, non-scary costumes you need. It will save some time and December stress. Who knows, maybe dressing like a super hero is the little one’s year long holiday wish. Hey, I know some kids basically sleep in their costume long after All Hallow’s Eve and well into New Years, so you would just be a really pro-active parent and also very very smart.

So Happy, Merry HallowThanksXmas Day to one and all…

Boohaha…..Boohaha….

Ladies…..get out your battle gear and get your holiday game on!

As for me, I’m going to make sure my “holiday spirits” are all in order, for any and all seasonal required beverage options, starting now. I am feeling that "on the rocks" is my holiday mantra.

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